Rebelling

Yesterday morning I found out that I have to have an extra week of radiation that I didn't know about.  Apparently when they told me six weeks, that was just the general idea and it can vary (wish they would explain that to the patient).  I've been crossing off days and counting down.

I was all mentally prepared for my last day to be next Monday.  It was quite a shock to find out otherwise.  I was not happy.  I came home and was in a funk.  I didn't feel like doing anything.  I am already physically tired every day now, but in addition, I was mentally tired.

I wanted to just go back to bed and stay there all day.  But that wouldn't do me any good.  I could just read my book I need to finish for book club.  However, it isn't my favorite and I didn't feel like doing that.  It was too smoky outside to veg on the hammock.

A to-do list is always waiting for me each day, but I wasn't in the mood.  Instead, I decided to rebel against all the things that needed to be done and "played" instead.   Call it art therapy, if you will.  I went to my sewing studio, pulled out some fabrics that were already fused and started a new artwork.

When I make these small fused pieces, I don't start out with any ideas.  I just get some colors together and then start cutting and arranging shapes.  In the morning, I got one piece put together.  It still needs the machine stitching and maybe some hand stitching.

Later, a delivery guy came to drop off decking material.  Since he was by himself, I helped him unload the boxes. Afterward, I was even more wiped out and instead of returning to my to-do list.  I went back into the studio and fused another piece.  It also still needs machine and maybe hand stitching.

Can you guess which piece I did in the morning and which in the afternoon?

It is interesting how my mood affected these pieces (in a subconscious way).  I think it is obvious the first one is the one I made in the morning.  It is kind of dark and dynamic with a strong red. There are some angles and sharp points (that might have come from some anger, perhaps). Changes in line direction create drama.

The second one was created in the afternoon after I had some time to calm down after my unpleasant news.  The colors are softer.  Lines are flowing and shapes are curved.  Repeated horizontal lines create a calmer effect.

I was not thinking of any of these things when I was making the pieces.  I was just intuitively cutting and placing, thinking about design elements.

Now, I might have to set these aside for awhile and get back to "the list."  Or maybe make a few more.